I have no gut feelings. Absolutely none. Zilch, nada, naught. I am almost certain it ceases to exist. Can you believe it? Where art thou instincts? Reckon I'm only a girl in name?
'Nuff. Too many questions. And none answered.
So. Few nights ago, I stopped asking anything of God. I mean what's the point right? Seems to me, my prayers have become chants which in turn, anthems I sing almost every other day.
Don't doubt my faith of course. If years of pleas remain ignored, its futile to keep at it. Besides, I deserve it, for my idiocy. Maybe in time HE won't refuse a pittance? HE must have some plan. It's another lesson I tell you. The same in fact.
I hate change. I abhor it. Then again I've never been one, adept to adapting.
I can't distinguish right from wrong. It's frustrating sitting on the fence.
Right now I don't want to lean back for fear of falling, in that stupid rut again.
I can't seem to put my foot forward either. Liabilities petrify me.
Unbeknownst to me, the worst is out there. Or so I think.
How do I embrace the future if I'm terrified of walking its path?
I'm so much more than I give myself credit for. I just need to learn how to walk again.
*slaps forehead*
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2 comments:
change is always part and parcel of life whether we like it or not...the man up there has a plan for all of us..fear not...u'll know wat to do when the time comes..gotta look ahead
i am, looking yonder that is. you'd be proud of me!
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