An epiphany, when you least expect it.

Okay so this is pretty random.

I watched 'Evan Almighty' with sunshine on my birthday. In it, 'God' told Joan, "When you wished for the family to be closer, do I invoke the feelings within you or do I give you the opportunity for it to happen?" and then he told Evan, "When you told me to help you change the world, should I do it myself or give you the opportunity to?"

All of a sudden, there rang a bell. I had an epiphany at that exact moment.

Truth be told, everyday I prayed for strength, to do a certain something, or at least, to NOT to do it. Yet it never happened. I admit I was disappointed in HIM for letting me down repeatedly and I'm sorry for that. Don't get me wrong here, HE has done some amazing things and I remain eternally grateful. But this was something I REALLY and I mean, desperately needed. Then I saw it. HE did give me, not the strength but the opportunitiES, not once but over and over again. It's true. A very good friend once mentioned that HE must love us more than we imagine for HIM to teach us the same lesson time and time again, albeit we ALWAYS get it wrong. As hilarious as that might be, I can't emphasize how true it is.

Maybe I've finally got it. I still have my doubts but now, I know the way this works.

On a different note, a certain thought struck me today. Something I've never even considered up till now. Why is it that I ALWAYS choose to settle for less when bigger and better things lie right in front of me? Could it be that I really do feel such and yet am completely unaware or else in a pure state of denial?

For the first time in a long time, I am confused. Very.
Have I really fallen in love another without my realising it?