What i boast of no longer remains
Subjected to the oppression of plausibility
In its probability score me a .7
the odds it seems were always against me
I live my fear, now as it plays, a daily affair
succumbed to my vulnerability as a result
of prescription abused intoxication
let rest my feeble organ of which pumps life
and that supply deathly thoughts.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
A losing game
A plunge it took into eternal abyss
Now lies wounded, broken and bleeding.
Forewarned it was, a thousand times over
The war when lost has its soul reeling
In a pool of blood, drained of life
The heart,
it's stopped living.
Flashes of death, perpetual rest
In imagery comes aflooding
An incessant flow, relentless in know
That soon will come knocking.
What once was, you plead to remain
Fleeting the moment.
Amen.
Now lies wounded, broken and bleeding.
Forewarned it was, a thousand times over
The war when lost has its soul reeling
In a pool of blood, drained of life
The heart,
it's stopped living.
Flashes of death, perpetual rest
In imagery comes aflooding
An incessant flow, relentless in know
That soon will come knocking.
What once was, you plead to remain
Fleeting the moment.
Amen.
Hear my cries.
Why is it that sincerity is not returned in kind?
Shouldn't goodwill beget some form of life's rewards? And malice, eternal condemnation?
Karma is not being a bitch to those that truely deserve it.
I bemoan this injustice.
Looks like in the eye of the universal law and the principles governing it, justice is indeed blind. As a bat.
Shouldn't goodwill beget some form of life's rewards? And malice, eternal condemnation?
Karma is not being a bitch to those that truely deserve it.
I bemoan this injustice.
Looks like in the eye of the universal law and the principles governing it, justice is indeed blind. As a bat.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bleah.
Just so you know (basically this is for you sho cos only you read me), I have ATTEMPTED not once, but maybe just over 50 times to keep to my promise to blog faithfully only to meet FUTILITY.
1. Lament my oh-so-woeful predicament that has kept me anything but cheery and in constant rumination of endless possibilities, what ifs and if only(s).
2.Emphasize my inexplicable delight watching couples tie the knot or walk down the aisle and mixed feelings after.
3.Vent! Although I quite refuse to admit it stems from hatred. I would much rather it be, well, less... erm... extreme? But who am I kidding.
The remaining 47 claims might just attribute to the number of times I've come in here and simply stared at the blank screen. type.backspace.type type type. backspace backspace backspace. oh you get it.
SO...
How about giving me more time to revel in nothingness and this void so i can be more productive than I am in this moment?
I say aye aye.
And bye.
1. Lament my oh-so-woeful predicament that has kept me anything but cheery and in constant rumination of endless possibilities, what ifs and if only(s).
2.Emphasize my inexplicable delight watching couples tie the knot or walk down the aisle and mixed feelings after.
3.Vent! Although I quite refuse to admit it stems from hatred. I would much rather it be, well, less... erm... extreme? But who am I kidding.
The remaining 47 claims might just attribute to the number of times I've come in here and simply stared at the blank screen. type.backspace.type type type. backspace backspace backspace. oh you get it.
SO...
How about giving me more time to revel in nothingness and this void so i can be more productive than I am in this moment?
I say aye aye.
And bye.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Friendship
I simply cannot contain my excitement any longer. "Sex in the City", was the BOMB! Inimitable. I hereby proclaim it the BEST movie of the year. OH MY GOD. I loved it!
Someone please tell me I am such a loser for not following the series. (It's a figure of speech, you don't REALLY have to tell me that.)
THIS is reason enough to fall in love. *silently, i am thanking God for my amazing boyfriend* who will stare daggers if he knew i was here ranting and raving about fairy tales and happy endings because he thinks such movies are a distortion of reality because then he needs to live up to my 'surreal' (only to him) expectations since he says such flicks are what gives me all these funny ideas. Nevertheless, who is a dream come true, and does anyway.
i digress.
Now, those who have friends like Carrie, a beau like Mr. Big, and a career to die for, you've got it MADE. Check. Check. Check?. (After much deliberation, I'm thinking the last one deserves a tick since it qualifies as a-career-to-die-for, just not one I would kill for though, but hey who's complaining.)
While on the topic of friendship... well here's my two cents worth.
After the movie, I met durga as part of our every day ritual and in the process of my post movie review we started talking about well, friends.
It seems almost natural, like some sort of an intrinsic mechanism, how we do away with 'fair-weathered' friends as we narrow and cut our way down to those that REALLY matter. Through the years, I've had my shares of acquaintances, those I call 'best friends' and those i regard as buddies. Of course, occasionally you make an enemy or two and sometimes out of those you considered true. But life's lessons are never easy.
I've come to realize that true friends aren't always the ones you've known the longest or those you keep in touch with or date on a regular basis.
The truest are those at a distance, a call away despite the odd hours, the listening ear, the one who does not judge, who NEVER has an ill word behind your back, who never boasts of ANY good deed done in the course of your friendship, who doesn't disappear without a trace after a 'phase', who reserves the right and authority to scream in your face in wrongdoing.
In stating so, I take pride in being able to count such friends with all of my fingers.
Someone please tell me I am such a loser for not following the series. (It's a figure of speech, you don't REALLY have to tell me that.)
THIS is reason enough to fall in love. *silently, i am thanking God for my amazing boyfriend* who will stare daggers if he knew i was here ranting and raving about fairy tales and happy endings because he thinks such movies are a distortion of reality because then he needs to live up to my 'surreal' (only to him) expectations since he says such flicks are what gives me all these funny ideas. Nevertheless, who is a dream come true, and does anyway.
i digress.
Now, those who have friends like Carrie, a beau like Mr. Big, and a career to die for, you've got it MADE. Check. Check. Check?. (After much deliberation, I'm thinking the last one deserves a tick since it qualifies as a-career-to-die-for, just not one I would kill for though, but hey who's complaining.)
While on the topic of friendship... well here's my two cents worth.
After the movie, I met durga as part of our every day ritual and in the process of my post movie review we started talking about well, friends.
It seems almost natural, like some sort of an intrinsic mechanism, how we do away with 'fair-weathered' friends as we narrow and cut our way down to those that REALLY matter. Through the years, I've had my shares of acquaintances, those I call 'best friends' and those i regard as buddies. Of course, occasionally you make an enemy or two and sometimes out of those you considered true. But life's lessons are never easy.
I've come to realize that true friends aren't always the ones you've known the longest or those you keep in touch with or date on a regular basis.
The truest are those at a distance, a call away despite the odd hours, the listening ear, the one who does not judge, who NEVER has an ill word behind your back, who never boasts of ANY good deed done in the course of your friendship, who doesn't disappear without a trace after a 'phase', who reserves the right and authority to scream in your face in wrongdoing.
In stating so, I take pride in being able to count such friends with all of my fingers.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Resurrection
Looking back, reading my oldest of posts, it suddenly struck me, that everything is no longer what it used to be, and in a span of a year there is nothing but difference. No constants, nothing. Just change staring straight back at me.
I have decided that a 6 month hiatus is one too long (based on very inaccurate mental computation). Penning my thoughts (that mostly of hatred) was a sacred routine in dispelling my negativity. That which I thought to be extremely therapeutic as opposed to the act of drowning my sorrows.
In cessation of a considerable burden (that which it most certainly was at the time or at any given I'm sure), I wonder where else I am to draw inspiration from to keep this thriving. Oh bother.
I once lamented the nature of the very existence of this space where self-absorption once reigned and now I cannot proclaim any difference for narcissism is indeed a muse as much as i hate to admit it. As such I forewarn that this space is for the sole purpose of frivolity and nothing thought invoking or inspiring. I now declare this blog officially reopened! Courtesy of sho-la-migo.
I have decided that a 6 month hiatus is one too long (based on very inaccurate mental computation). Penning my thoughts (that mostly of hatred) was a sacred routine in dispelling my negativity. That which I thought to be extremely therapeutic as opposed to the act of drowning my sorrows.
In cessation of a considerable burden (that which it most certainly was at the time or at any given I'm sure), I wonder where else I am to draw inspiration from to keep this thriving. Oh bother.
I once lamented the nature of the very existence of this space where self-absorption once reigned and now I cannot proclaim any difference for narcissism is indeed a muse as much as i hate to admit it. As such I forewarn that this space is for the sole purpose of frivolity and nothing thought invoking or inspiring. I now declare this blog officially reopened! Courtesy of sho-la-migo.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
It just dawned on me that I haven't updated close to 3 weeks now. Pretty long a hiatus no? Whilst I'm still caught in the mundanity of things (not that it's bad to have a little consistency), sometimes I wonder who my spontaneity has eloped with.
That aside, it's inexplicable really how ecstatic I am with the commencement of the new semester . As much as I love vacations and all that, I can't wait to get past mine, so that my brain cells get their much deserved stimulation it has been deprived of, for like forever. (It's so evident, you can tell from the way I'm expressing myself.) Like really. * Note the frequent use of bimbotic language.
Of late, I've been so preoccupied with I don't know what. But it seems that I've something to tend to almost everyday. If I'm not flying, it's some event I'm attending or a certain someone I'm meeting for brunch, lunch or dinner or just coffee. I'm falling behind my religious reading though which displeases me a great deal. And oh, I'm proclaiming myself the queen of procrastination. Sloth has crept in ever so stealthily and I hate that it throws me off track. But everything's been a mad rush. The adrenaline is almost orgasmic. I find that pretty hilarious but I like entertaining that thought. And I'm most definitely not complaining. I'm glad I've been kept duely busy.
On a different note, as much as I hate to speak of my personal life, there's just a tiny issue that's been annoyingly reccurent. Yes as much as ignorance is bliss, sometimes being gracious overrides that. And when I succumb to my otherwise 'unbitchy' side (stupid alter ego) , I find that I get caught up in the cycle.
So I've hence decided that I shall play devil after all. As long as I'm not hurting more than one party in the end.
So that's that for now.
I'm going to promise that I give myself a little 'me' time.
That aside, it's inexplicable really how ecstatic I am with the commencement of the new semester . As much as I love vacations and all that, I can't wait to get past mine, so that my brain cells get their much deserved stimulation it has been deprived of, for like forever. (It's so evident, you can tell from the way I'm expressing myself.) Like really. * Note the frequent use of bimbotic language.
Of late, I've been so preoccupied with I don't know what. But it seems that I've something to tend to almost everyday. If I'm not flying, it's some event I'm attending or a certain someone I'm meeting for brunch, lunch or dinner or just coffee. I'm falling behind my religious reading though which displeases me a great deal. And oh, I'm proclaiming myself the queen of procrastination. Sloth has crept in ever so stealthily and I hate that it throws me off track. But everything's been a mad rush. The adrenaline is almost orgasmic. I find that pretty hilarious but I like entertaining that thought. And I'm most definitely not complaining. I'm glad I've been kept duely busy.
On a different note, as much as I hate to speak of my personal life, there's just a tiny issue that's been annoyingly reccurent. Yes as much as ignorance is bliss, sometimes being gracious overrides that. And when I succumb to my otherwise 'unbitchy' side (stupid alter ego) , I find that I get caught up in the cycle.
So I've hence decided that I shall play devil after all. As long as I'm not hurting more than one party in the end.
So that's that for now.
I'm going to promise that I give myself a little 'me' time.
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